Invisible: An Asian Experience in Northern New Hampshire
The following piece was written by one of our mentors, Michael Kim, a South Korean person who resides in Plymouth, NH and is the founder of NHUnites. They are part of our North Country Social Justice Collective and are a strong advocate against racism of all kinds in Northern New Hampshire. You can follow their work at @NHUnites.
"Model? Never"
The model minority. Such a loaded term, and one I refuse to give any more power. Many allies even view Asians as “lucky” compared to other marginalized groups; Blacks, Latinx, LGBTQIA+, Jews, in that we are (supposedly) more economically prosperous and technologically advanced than our other brown-skinned brothers and sisters? This was never the case, and the beatings, racist names, “ching chang chong” talk, karate chops, stretched eyelids and mocking laughs hurt just the same.
Experiencing AAPI racism more or less “alone” in New Hampshire for 35 years has completely warped my perception of how isolated I actually am, and shamed my South Korean identity. So many Asian allies STILL remain silent for fear of alienating family or friends, and stood in the wings through the protests last summer bc they felt “this just wasn’t their cause” or because they were fearful of the confrontation that protests can bring. That’s not being an ally. That’s not anti-racist. And now you’re perpetuating trauma on your own people by not standing up.
New Hampshire is a haven for outdoor enthusiasts, but even in the woods we can’t escape the societal implications of our Asian identities. Hiker Kathy Chau Rohn recently spoke on this: “As a Vietnamese American woman living during this pandemic, I find that there are two sides of the hiking coin: on trail, the meditative and restorative aspects of nature refill my cup; off trail, the insidious impact of racism deplete me once more. In trail towns I worry that people think I am bringing COVID to their neighborhoods or that I am a virus. I fear that they will hurl racial slurs at me, or worse. People often say that they go into nature to ‘get away from politics.’ But, the reality for many of us is that discussing inclusion in the outdoors is not political. These are my lived experiences no matter where I am physically located or what activity I am pursuing.”
Asians (now more than ever) are living with an amplified daily fear of violence. Couple that in with the fact that these most recent victims in Atlanta were also sex workers - and these deaths become even more meaningful and complex. Hollywood/the general public fetishizes our brown skin, but won’t amplify the voices that speak for those brown bodies. SW’s face abuse on the daily by their employers, the police, traffickers, and clients alike, and the hypersexualization of specifically Asian women influenced this violence in a major way.
“Me love you long time”
“Happy-ending massage parlor”
“Mail-order bride from China”
These turns of phrase were never harmless - and the careless ways we abuse them continues to damage us. And Asians aren’t a monolith. By that I mean we’re a spectrum of people the same way Ireland, England, Germany, and Wales all look the “same, same - but different”. Being lumped into a group based on your skin doesn’t feel good, does it? By continuing to generalize our origin groups you blend us all into one shade; invisible.
"Stop Asian hate” means the same thing as all the slogans and chants we echoed for months last summer; dismantle white supremacy by speaking out against it. By naming it. By acknowledging it boldly. Fear of naming it gives it strength - and that can’t continue. And while many of you were so eager to lift up Black Lives Matter/our voices last year following the death of George Floyd and virtue signal through the fervent election season - you’re completely silent now - and your performative activism is heart-breaking and apparent. Where are those allies now? Why aren’t they being actively anti-racist?
You make a fetish of brown bodies - but never respect our voices - especially not those speaking up loudly against systems of oppression.
November came and went. The toxic gaze and language has shifted away from Democracy and BLM and is now focused directly on my Asian-ness.
“Kung-flu”
“China Virus”
I was threatened at gun point last summer for standing with Black Lives; I wonder what would happen now if I stood up for Asian lives? It’s unfair I even have to weigh that decision; but self-advocacy = violence, apparently. When is enough going to truly be enough? What does your anti-racism look like, and is it truly inclusive? Standing against white supremacy means standing with ALL of those it effects, and acknowledging the specific struggles of those groups. Now more than ever; I need you. We need to stop comparing injustices between marginalized groups, and recognize that (as allies and foes alike) we ALL have to be part of the solution in order to truly end racism, xenophobic language, and hate.
